I keep running across the same sentiment lately. Basically, it goes like this,
"I have small children, so my house is always messy. There's nothing I can do about it."It's really been bothering me because I don't think it's true. So, I want to disagree (politely if possible). While of course living with small children is much more messy than otherwise, I don't think it's a good excuse to throw in the towel. I mean, really, is that the kind of example we want to set for our children? "Well, kids, welcome to our home-sweet-pigsty. It's just how we do things around here!" Plus, I personally feel like it is extremely demoralizing to constantly live in a mess. Motherhood is degraded enough in our modern society. We don't have to make it any worse for ourselves by living like slobs.
Now, after probably making myself sound like a totally judgemental jerk, I would like to provide my assessment of HOW we can manage to escape the mess. If you look at my blog header, you will see that I also have 4 small children. I also generally have several neighborhood kids over to play everyday. So my house has lots of opportunity to get messy. See?
Here are some strategies that I have employed to keep the disasters under control:
1. DejunkI once read a book called "Lose 200 lbs this weekend" by Don Aslett. It was a fun and funny read, but his basic point is that we Americans have too much stuff. Stuff that we don't need, but that, if we choose to keep, we must store, and clean, and organize, and move around, trip over, and so on.
He points out that if we just get rid of the stuff, we can stop storing, cleaning, organizing, moving, tripping on, etc. I know that kids come with lots and lots of accessories...but do you really need all of them? Can you simplify? I bet you can. One thing that we have done with our kids, is to have an
annual clean out before Christmas. In preparation for getting some new toys, we get rid of some old toys. Another thing we have done is to
stop the insanity at birthday parties. We invite lots of friends, and have a great time, but we ask them not to bring gifts. Between grandparents, parents, aunt & uncles, and cousins, my kids receive plenty of birthday presents. Why would we need 5, or 10, or 25 more on top of that? (Yes, we do like to invite 25 kids to our birthday parties! It's fun!)
We also limit the amount of clothing our kids have. We try to have enough to last a week, so that mom doesn't have to do laundry quite as often. For us, that comes out to about 10-12 outfits (more for smaller children). You would only need 8 if your kids can go for a week without getting dirty. :) Mine usually have to change outfits a few times a week.
2. OrganizeI think both kids and grown-ups have an easier time keeping things clean when there is an obvious structure. So we employ the old adage:
a place for everything and everything in its place. Toy boxes are labeled, craft supplies are simply organized and accessible. Even the kitchen drawers have structure. It might take a little more time up front to set up the organization, but it pays off so much in the long run! It's worth it. (Oh, and if you're not one of the naturally organized types, find a friend who is. Organized people love sharing the gospel of organization!) One of the organizational ideas we use is toy rotation. I keep some of the kids toys in storage, and rotate them out every so often (like every 6 months or whenever the kids ask to trade). This limits the amount of toy accessible to make a mess with, while at the same time, making old toys seem as exciting as new toys.
p.s. I bet there are 100 blogs written by organized people with tons more tips and ideas than I am listing here. I bet at least 1 of them will appeal to you. :)
3. Share the WorkloadEvery household has a certain number of chores that have to be done. Dishes gotta be washed, bathrooms gotta be cleaned, yada, yada, yada. But Mommy doesn't have to be the only one who does them all. In fact, that's probably pretty bad for your kids. (Unless you are trying to raise selfish little stinkers.)
Children are capable. I mean
really. That doesn't mean they are going to want to do chores, but they are totally able to. So, start small, and don't forget to give them lots of rewards (both praise and priviledges).
Here's a short list of simple chores my kids do:
fold their own laundry
sort their dirty laundry
unload the dishwasher
set the table
sweep the floor
wipe off the table
clean their rooms
tidy the toy room.
4. Regular Clean-upIf you do it every day, it's never that big of a mess. I homeschool. My kids are here all day long. They are messy. But before lunch and before dinner every day we take 15 mins to do a quick tidy up. This doesn't mean that my house is always spotlessly clean. (hahahahahah) What it does mean, is that the mess doesn't have time to build up (either physically or mentally) into a huge ordeal. There have been many times when I have slipped out of this habit, but I always end up coming back to it, because it's the best way. They also tidy their rooms up before they go to bed each night. This means that we get to wake up to a clean house. Waking up in a mess has a way of making you tired. Waking up to a clean house gives you energy! You can use this idea in small ways. When you walk into a room and see a small mess, take the 5 mins to clean it up. A messy room has a funny way of going downhill fast. If you notice one place or another in your house that tend to constantly be messy, try reviewing ideas 1 and 2. Could it be organized better, or could you just get rid of some of the things that keep causing the mess?
5. Improve your SkillsTreat your work load the way a factory does. Look for ways to be more efficient. Can you learn to clean the bathroom in 15 mins? It's reasonable, believe me. I once checked out a book from the library called "Speed Cleaning"
There were tons of practical ideas about what order to clean in and how to do things faster. I think boring tasks are much less daunting if you know they won't take very long. When I looked this book up on Goodreads.com, there were plenty of others on the same topic. Don't let it seem demeaning to spend time and energy on learning to clean. Just think of it as a way to teach your kids by example "
whatever you do, do it well". There's probably a conference talk in there somewhere :).
I want to end this little rant by saying that I know there are times in life when things get really hard, and keeping your home tidy might seem like the last thing on the list. I guess that a new baby, depression, a big church calling, illness, or a new job would slow any of us down. But using the ideas above really will make it so much easier to stay on top of things. And if you think about it, having a dirty/messy house won't really help make any of the above situations feel any better. In fact, to me it would just add to the stress that was already there. I just want to get away from that idea that children mean inevitably living messily. Cleanliness is a lifestyle choice and it is compatible with children!
